INTOLERANT

Words by Darnell L. Moore | Images by Akintola Hanif

I stood on the steps of Newark City Hall about to address the crowd. I had been invited to speak about equality, peace and harmony for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and non-confirming people in the city. I opened with the topic of “justice.” But as I began my talk, one of the few brothers standing directly in front of me responded by calling me “faggot.” I went on to talk about the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and what it might mean for us to show respect for the dignity of all people. Again, the brother in front of me responded by uttering the word “faggot.” I kept talking and so did he. And, as we both talked over each other, I considered the need for people like him (who have experienced racism and injustice yet oppress others who are not heterosexual) to think deeply about their beliefs, and let go of their discomforts and hate.

Some advocates call for more heterosexuals to show “tolerance” of LGBT equality. But one should only “tolerate” what one has resigned to quit struggling against. In other words, if, as a Black man, I expect non-Black folk to rid themselves of racism in full respect of my humanity, if, as a Black man who was born and raised in the “hood” (Camden to be exact), l expect them to resist and rid themselves of thoughts that deny my equality; if, as a Black man who is a pro-feminist (meaning I stand against sexism and misogyny), who watched his mother suffer verbal and physical abuse at the hands of his father, I expect brothers to abandon the idea of male supremacy; then, as a Black gay man I damn sure expect brothers and sisters to rid themselves of the homophobia that keeps them from treating me with respect and dignity. What am I saying?

We, brothers and sisters of color, do not implore racists to TOLERATE us.

We, brothers and sisters of color who are also financially strapped members of the 99 percent, do not request the economic ruling class to TOLERATE us.

We, brothers and sisters, should not beg our brothers to cease degrading our sisters and TOLERATE them.


We should be intolerant of any action, word, policy, or belief system that perpetuates violence and violation, hatred and prejudice, disharmony and disintegration (of our communities and one another). Homophobia is but one example. We LGBT folk, expect to be treated with the full respect: We want physical and verbal harassment to end; we want school and workplace bullying to cease; and we want murders (by others’ hands) and suicide (by our own) to end. We want to be able to love and make love to whomever we choose. We are living in times when we have to understand that denigrating one member of our community is a means of denigrating the entire community. We do not ask for the tolerance of heterosexual sisters and brothers, we ask for their love and full embrace.

Several blocks from City Hall, where I spoke on LGBT rights, is the intersection of Broad and Market Streets, where Newark’s own daughter, Sakia LaTona Gunn, was fatally stabbed at 15 after being accosted by a man who apparently hated the fact that she was cool living her life as a lesbian teen. I thought about her while I listened to the brother repeatedly call me a “faggot,” and I was reminded that the weapons we use to kill (literally and metaphorically) the spirits and bodies of our LGBT brothers and sisters are manifold. I lived on the day of my assailing, but Sakia died on hers. We should be intolerant of any more “deaths” in our community. We should demand nothing but life...and safety...and equality...and respect...even of ourselves.

Darnell L. Moore is a writer, activist and university lecturer. He is a visiting scholar at the Center for the Study of Gender and Sexuality at New York University and a part-time lecturer in the Women and Gender Studies Department of Rutgers University.